Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize