I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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