If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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