Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
How's work?
Spinning.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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