I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
