I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
