Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
