i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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