Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
