you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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