ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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