the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize