I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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