Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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