somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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