He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
