Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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