I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
drinking out of a sandbucket again
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
