Im at strip club and am horny
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
