I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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