you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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