Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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