He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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