yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
