how can u be prego again
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
