We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
