guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.