I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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