wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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