it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
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She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
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fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
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