So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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