Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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