Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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