So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
