"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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