dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
