If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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