you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
