Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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