Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
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You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
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I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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