hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I intend to get homeless drunk
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
