This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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