I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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