accomplished twins. life is a go
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You made out with two different species that night
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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