we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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