"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
