I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Sorry my hands just texted you
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
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