Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
