Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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