I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
