i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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