The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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