he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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