16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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